MICHAEL runs out and grabs a giant trash can. Watching slightly famous people talking to really famous people? When we can sit happily on our lovely bapperlies You can't learn that from a stupid book, !īut now I'm really, really smart, very very smart. After a pause, he looks down and plucks another doleful note. MICHAEL steps forward, and after some consideration, plucks a note on his ukulele. The bigger the telly, the smarter the man. Watching people singing, and talking, and doing stuff? Is twenty-three minutes plus advertisements. lots of books!Įvery time the word "telly" is mentioned in the following verses, MICHAEL yells the word along with his father.īaby, you can switch the channel over just like that. So, telly, if you bothered to take a look, The very reason that we bothered evolving out of unicorns in the first place.Ī television is brought out by MICHAEL, who has a ukulele strung around his back. Ladies and gentlemen! May I present to you today the pinnacle of our achievements as a species. Bookworm! Bookworm! Reading all the books like a stinky little worm. MR WORMWOOD elicits the name of someone from the audience.ĭon't take this the wrong way, but. Now, can I just ask, by a way of a show of hands, how many grown-up people here has actually ever read a book? Come on, put em up. Under no circumstances do we condone such activities, and we do so utterly without reservoirs. and crucially, it gives them head lice of the soul. It stunts the brain, it wears out the eyes it makes kids ugly, stinky, fatty, sweaty Betty, boring, gaseous. Now, it is not normal for kids to behave in this fashion. I am, of course, talking about reading books. And I would like to state, guarantorically, that we would not like any children who might be here tonight watching this to go home and try these things out for themselves. They are not nice things, and they are not right things. Before we, er, continue with proceedings, I would like to offer an apology for some of the things that have been going on here tonight. About 5 minutes before the end of intermission, the curtain rises to reveal a microphone in the middle of the stage.
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